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its been years since ive posted on this,

but i need to learn to be alone,

years of failed relationships and disappointments have
led to this eventual post.

so congrats men.
it wasnt one of you, but many, who broke me.
a week or so ago biscuit died, despite the year they gave him to live.

i thought it would kill me. it didnt.

but it is literally killing my other dog, who now refuses to eat until we force it.

and so, we're getting a puppy. thats actually really exciting!

i found a female australian shepard mix at animal control. so im going to save her from being euthenized. so i get to pick her up on wednesday. i still need names in case anyone has suggestions. im glad she's a mutt that i can actually rescue and make a difference in an unfortunate dogs life rather than a purebred like we usually get.

so this is her:

its a milkshake kind of day.

and i've found that its a cruel world
i will remember today forever.

nichola coe was a wonderful woman. she died peacefully. but that doesnt do much to console me right now.
yesterday was the best last day of summer.

james, nick, lindsay and i took nicks boat out and went to random islands. one, called Long Island almost killed us. i have awful scratched all over my legs from the brambles and lindsay got eaten by bugs. but it was reallllly fun anyways. we were, as james put it, conquistadors!

first day of school was ok. on the way from starbucks to school with maria i tried to race a mercedes. the driver, i later realized was jack hines. and it was awkward. luckily maria didnt let me really full on race him, as she pointed out that crashing and dying is kinda bad. she had a point.

i just cant do 179 more days of this whole "school" thing.

i cant and i wont.

i quit.

homeroom-- brantley

1st acting 2-- Verdis
2nd geometry-- Schumacher
3rd economics-- Lynah
4th AP lit.-- Wallace
5th Spanish 2--Wright
6th Physics-- Durden
7th Sculpture-- Payne
8th Tech2-- Kizer
i come home saturday! its 3 am. i'm talking to james still. our phone record so far is 5.5 hours in one night. what an accomplisment!
i just joined the "you might go to YCG when..." group on facebook. i read through them all and started crying.

camp is beautiful. this hasnt been a real summer because i havent been able to go this year. i miss it so much part of me isnt really here. apparently they got a new water front director, waterfront mike. better than waterfront katie i hope. but he'll never be donovan. i dont think many people will understand what i'm talking about.

and they're right. we all are crazy to sign up and pay to do manual labor just so we can stay at camp longer. you have to love camp to shovel gravel and wash dishes at every meal just so you can be there another week.

i miss the beaver song. and closing campfire. and tyedying underwear because you have to conserve all your clothes. i miss krispy kreme sundays and sneaking cheerios out of the dining hall. i miss my camp friends and greg and the counselors. i miss ultimate and relay races that you always grown about but actually really enjoy. kayaks vs canoes, the always anticipated snack and capture the flag. square dances and the saturday dances you always get all hyped up over and end up being goofy. making purple (hahaha). even the godforsaken fried chicken nights and buddy checks.

dammit i need camp. i'm going to end up having to go up one weekend during the school year. it wont be the same as during the summer. sure, they wont have parade ground or the "i wanna be a weirdo" song, but i have to get near the mountain air and stay in one of those bunks that are so insanely uncomfortable until you drag yourself into one after a long day of running and dancing and singing and laughing and being active for 15 hours that day and it turns into a luxury matress straight fromt he ritz carlton.

i miss my home, not one of those stupid houses in savannah or tybee. but YCG. with my family. not my mom or dad or sister. but my camp friends.

this isnt a summer what are you people talking about?
ok alex, you havent wrecked anything. so thats good. thank you for not doing so.

lifes pretty awesome right now. 

the mission trip was realllyyy fun. we got a lot done and i think we made a big difference in the town. plus it was a blast.

i'm still tired though.

but its all good.
sooo i definitly havent updated in like...3 weeks.

i got a car.

(i got leather interior with it!)

i got a sunburn.

i got blonder hair (from the sun).

i got crazy times.

i got a diet coke in my hand.

i got to meet new people.

i got to have some fun.

good times.